Do you want to lose weight?

I have the perfect solution for you; Find something to worry about for a couple days.

You won't be able to eat. For the love of Pete, I'm lookin' like a frickin' skeleton over here.

Ok, it's not quite that bad, but you get the idea.

good morning - Girl 1 took care of her SUIT problem
good day - at the office tons accomplished, left early
good afternoon - nap
good dinner - with the 'wife'
good night - sleepy

What is the deal with chicks and my hair? Whenever I spike it, they are just drawn to it. I'm infamous for having my "low-hygiene" days, when I don't shave or fix the hair... but when I do, dangit they love it. I guess I need to make more of a concerted effort to do it. Even at the gym yesterday, girls I didn't know were coming up to me and saying how much they like it. {Eric Cartman voice} Sweet {/Eric Cartman Voice}

Noteworthy Conversation Excerpts:
[upstairs at work this morning]
Girl 2: Hey Kyle!
Me: Hey Girl2, Happy Birthday!
Girl 2: Thanks! You're so sweet!
Girl2: You gotta check out this underwear Girl1 got me from Victoria's Secret!!
[reaches in bag, pulls out 3 pairs of panties]
[the first one is like lime green and hot pink striped]
Me: Dangit! that's frickin' bright!
Girl2: You know, that's what us girls do, we buy underwear for each other's bday.
Girl2: Guys don't do stuff like that do they?
Me: Good Lord, No. That is just W-R-O-N-G.
[tons of laughter ensues]

[hanging out with Girl 1 and Girl 2 after lunch at Girl 1's cube]
Me: Ok ladies, I'm going back to....
Girl 2: Back to your hole?
Me: Yes, I'm going back to my hole.
[as I'm walking around the corner of the cube leaving]
Girl 2: You should hang out at Girl 1's hole more often, she likes it.
Girl 1: Girl2 !!!!
Me: OK then....
Girl 1, Girl 2: giggling.

[at dinner]
Me: I'm full already and am freakin' tired.
Her:You didn't eat very much... maybe you're anemic.
Me: Nah, I don't think so. I came home from work and slept from like 4:00-5:00, just so I could stay up with you.
Me[thinking to myself]: the real reason I can't eat is, obviously (or not so obviously), because I like you.